The Legend of Adrift Nelly

This is the much edited version. All names have been removed under great duress to protect the victims.


When a sailor gets old
And his heart grows cold
And he’s spent too much time alone
He will recount his tales
About sirens and whales
And some will chill you to the bone.
So pull up a chair and buy me a drink
For I have a tale to tell
Of broken hearts and shattered dreams
And a siren known as Adrift Nell


Now Nell was a cute young lady
Though a little bit shady
From a town in the Pacific Northwest
She always had a smile
That was sure to beguile
But her laughter was the best.
She could tease you and squeeze you
And hug you and charm you
And leave you begging for more
But beware all you sailors fair
She could rip your heart out and leave it lying on the floor


Now Nell had a history of capturing hearts
She collected them by the score
She had left behind a sailor man and left him begging for more.
A smart and handsome man and an aspiring sailor was he
He had a lovely boat that would stay afloat
And he offered to take her to the sea,
He fell hard for Nell and said "I want you to be all mine"
But Nell couldnt be caught cause her heart was free
So she left him at the door
He was a broken man, a shell of a man, with his heart ripped to the core
Said Nell as she left "there are hearts to take and men to claim",
"I cant be tamed and kept in chains
I want to explore the seven seas...
One island at a time".


Another sailor bold from the land of the cold took Nell aboard as crew
He had sailed alone for many a year and to many a distant shore
But she charmed him right and after many a night he wanted to sail alone no more.
So beware you sailors fair, this can happen to you too
Dont tempt fate as it lies in wait disguised as a lovely belle
She just might be, the siren known as Adrift Nell.
Our Nell was a restlest spirit and difficult to tame
She moved on to sail some more upon the ocean vast and wide
There were places to see, things to do, and many more hearts to claim


She took a trip to the Caribbean to collect more hearts to her side
It was a fair day on the isle of Bequia when Nell walked into the bar
With a glance at skipper Dave, she thought, "I'm going to make this man my slave"
She flashed him a beautiful smile from afar
Without a fight, Dave's heart melted to the floor
With a "Cheers, Big Ears!" Nell sauntered to his table
"I have Bequia Dave and Carriacou Dave, I have Daves by the score,
I don't need any more."
"I'll set my sights for loftier heights.
I need to find a man who puts up a fight
When I am ready and able."


Now there was a handsome man and many a fair maid he had left behind
So Nell charmed him and teased him , and flattered him and squeezed him
Any any thoughts of other women left his mind
Not in a rush and with nair a blush Nell set about her job
And this poor mans heart just melted to a blob
Not content with just a heart Nell went on to the attack
She stripped him clean and even took the shirt right off his back.
But she treated him kind, took his heart and filed it away
"Because", said she, "you never know what life may bring"
"I may need a good honest man some day."


Her next victim was a lonely sailor bold
who sailed the seas far from home
He hiked and he biked and explored the land
but he was fated to sail the seas alone
With love in his heart he was out for a new start
He came courting the lovely Belle
But before they could connect and his dreams come true he ran into the captivating Nell
With a smile on her lips, she charmed him to bits, and that was the last thought of Belle.
Now off he went, with a broken heart totally stricken by lovely Nell
And for the rest of his life, he was racked with strife and destined to sail alone


Next in line was a Captain fine, with a boat both big and fair
He was a strong and handsome guy, but for Nell he had a yen
"Its true", said Nell, as she worked her art
"Size does matter in boats and men"
But she said goodby and broke his heart
And went back on the hunt again


Now here's a warning to you sailors,
If you walk into a bar
Should you spy a lovely dancing girl
Be sure to only look at her from afar.
If she has laughter on her lips and a lovely smile on her face
Just turn around and leave this dangerous place
She just might be the lovely Nell.
And if you hear her say "I'm not easy, I'm just reasonable", down your drink and dont be slow
Up your anchor and leave that place as fast as you can go
Because one look into her lovely eyes and a dance with that fair young maid
And you will be captured like the rest of us, so you better be afraid
Because the outcome of that dance is one we all know well
No man can resist the charms of the wonderful Adrift Nell


So if you be out sailing and you hear a woefull call
Let this be a warning to you sailors all
If you hear a haunting voice with a lilt from a lovely lady
and if the call is a sultry, "Oh Baby! Oh Baby! Oh Baby!",
Trim your jib and sheet the main and switch to the opposite tack
It is the lovely Adrift Nell and she wants your heart for a snack.
And if you run into a bunch of lsad and lonely and heartless young men
You will know that Adrift Nell is back on the hunt again

You can see more of Nell and her adventures in her blog at http://adriftnelly.blogspot.com/

Update
Nell went for a trip to Carriacou to visit Carriacou Dave and fell in love. She is now totally smitten and has retired from capturing the affections of any man in reach. So all us sailors can breath a sigh of relief and continue on our merry lives as we are safe from the spells of the sieren of the seven seas at least for a while.