The Sad and Sordid Tale of Isabella Ratzova

A long time ago in the land of Romania there lived a young Gypsy named Mario Ratzov. Mario was a handsome and charming man who used his charms well.He had a way with the women and could capture hearts when ever the need arised. Mario became a travelling salesman selling gypsy arifacts, beads and trinkets in all corners of the world.He travelled to Canada where he met and married a lovely french woman whose name was Celine. They had 4 lovely children , 2 daughters whose names were Dinarah and Isabella Ratzova. Dinarah was the older sister with the beautiful eyes. Beautiful smiling eyes. Eyes full of expression. Eyes so deep you got lost in them. Eyes so dark they were like the deep blue of the caribbean ocean and you wanted to dive into them and stay forever. Eyes that a sailor could swim in for the rest of his life. Sorry I got sidetracked. This story is about Isabella.
Mario also had wives and mistresses and children in many other countries, Holland, England, The USA, and most other european countries. These came to light when he passed away suddenly in a moment of passion with his last and youngest wife, 25 yr old Imelda who lived in Belize. Then all his extended family and step children learned about each other.
This is the story of mainly Isabella Ratzova from Montreal, a lovely young lady with Gypsy blood, a good heart , and her search for the ideal skipper.
Isabelle started her sailing life and found a captain named Raul. Raul was a swarthy lad, a mans man. A sailor, diver, fisherman, rugged and handsome. Isabella had a wonderfull life with Raul and spent many happy years cruising the wonderful countries of Central America. Sampling their foods, culture and all the wonderful things they had to offer. However like most sailors, Raul had a wandering eye, The grass is greener syndrome. The next port is better type. And so the broken hearted Isabelle said goodby to Captain Raul Unfaithfull and his boat the Fool Around and set off in search a real Captain with a true heart, a pure soul, and handsome and romantic. And we all know that you call captains like this a rumour.
She met Captain Paul and sailed with him, diving and sailing in the Turks and Caicos Islands. But Paul was a stern taskmaster and worked Isabelle to the bone cleaning and sanding and cooking. She had no time for herself and life wasnt good. So Isabella left Captain Paulish Everything and his beautiful yacht the Bright and Shiny and returned to Montreal and went back to work and continued her search for the perfect Captain.
She went to the Bahamas to meet Captain John. She had corresponded with John for many months before making the move to join him. He seemed like a nice ,interesting fellow. But after 3 days it turn out he was really Captain Johnny Walker and she left the boat and hid in a monastery and practised yoga to ease her broken dreams.
The 2007/8 sailing season started with Captain Poot. She had talked with him for many months and he wanted her to help with some deliveries and charters he hoped to do. But Captain Stay Poot was in love with his anchor and it never seemed to leave the bottom so the dissapointed Isabella left his boat, the S/V Didnt Moove and went looking for a boat to sail on that moved.
Next came Captain Don Juan, a military man who ran his ship to strict rules and a strict regime. A nice man but no Captain charming. She had to leave the ship and it was then that she fell into the clutches of Captain Dave.
Now Captain Dave was a weak man whom had fallen under the spell of a woman who was known as Evil Edi Ratzova. Yes she was a stepsister of Isabella. A sister from the same mister. Now when Evil Edi met her step sister she became jealous of the beautiful Isabella and went out of her way to make her life miserable. But because she had no choice and no place to stay, Isabella was forced to join The Nauticat. On the boat there were other crew, her other stepsister and a real sister of Evil Edi , the miserable Joyless Ratzova. There was another lady aboard who turned out to also be a long lost 2nd cousin, Anita Ratzova from Seattle. Other crew were also aboard, Pirate Paul and Mad Mike, the Mouth of Juan de Fuca. They also treated poor Isabelle poorly.
Anita took care of the lovely Isabella as best she could and tried to protect her from Captain Dave and her jealous stepsisters. Isabella was forced to clean and scrub the boat and clean the head. She was forced to wear only rags and small itty bitty clothes, which Captain Dave really liked. Always cold and working all the time, Isabella had a bad life. But she never gave up her search for the Perfect Captain.
On the Nauticat Isabella was forced to cook gormet meals for the captain and crew. And she did cook gormet. She is a fabulous cook. And she made lunches even in the worst weather. And they were good lunches. And she always did it with a smile on her face. No mater how bad she was treated, Isabelle was always happy and cheerful. This really bothered Evil Edi and Joyless. They forced her to clean the boat, scrub the head, and do all their jobs on the Nauticat. These she did and still she smiled. She is just happy to be on a boat, Even if it is a boat like the Nastycat.
While sailing on the slave ship The Nauticat Isabella met Captain Lefty in Bequia. Lefty was a handsome man and captivated the suseptible Isabella. He was swarthy and swaggering but he also had a dark side. So one night Captain Lefty Behind upped anchor and, with the good ship Gotta Go slipped out of Bequia before Issabella could escape from The Nastycat. She was devastated. "Are all Captains unfaithful, lying scoundrels?" she sobbed. We all know the answer to that.
At a nice quiet anchorage Isabella met Captain Rom. He was a charter boat captain and could only spare a little time for the lovely Isabella. But they met at a couple of other anchorages and he plied her with gifts of fresh fish, Mahi Mahi and Bonitto that Captain Dave and the Evil Edi quickly took from her and kept for themselves and forced her to eat Blue Tang and Parrot fish instead. Isabella met up with Captin Rom again in Martinique and he plied her with dinner and wine and chocolates. But the next morning when Isabella had to get up early to scrub the bottom of the Dirticat she noticed that Captain Romantic Evening and his good ship The Escape had left. Rom had left the boat and flown to Spain where he had a better job waiting for him. Isabella was crushed. He had seemed so wonderful and she had fallen deeply in love, but alas it was not to be.
Isabella was forced to provide food for the Nauticat also. With only the barest of fishing gear, a hand line and a piece of plastic bag for a lure, Isabelle fished for the Nauticat. And she was a good fisherman. She was forced to clean her catch and then clean the boat afterwards. All this she did and still smiled and was happy. Nothing gets this girl down.
Later on Isabella met Captain March. Now March was a very dedicated and athletic man. He loved to sail and dive, but most of all he loved to hike. He wooed the lovely Isabella and asked her to go on a hike with him. Poor Isabella. She didnt have any good hiking shoes as Evil Edi had taken all her shoes to add to her already exorbitant shoe collection. Poor Isabella had just an old pair of flip flops. After trying her best to keep up, she returned to the Nauticat, her feet covered in cuts and blisters. She knew then that Captain Forced March and his boat the Double Time were not for her.
The Nauticat went to St Martin to race in the Heinekin Regatta. Isabella was forced to work the fordeck on the Nauticat. And Captain Dave wouldn't let Isabella wear proper clothes to race in. She was forced to wear a skimpy bikinni on fordeck, out in the cold wind and blazing sun. Nothing to shield her lovely body from the elements. And it is a gorgeous body. A firm, subtle body. Golden brown tanned skin. Toned and flexible muscles. Lithe and sinuey. Ready to spring to action at any moment. Pardon me, again I digress. This is supposed to be about Isabella. Actually it is.
At the Heinekin Regatta she met Captain Al. Now captain Al was a happy-go-lucky fellow. He had a nice big catamaran that he was also racing in the Heinekin. Al and Isabella hit it off instantly. Al played the guitar and sang and before the regatta Al would come over to the Nauticat and ply Captain Davy and Evil Edi with drinks so that He and Isabella could play the guitar and sing together. They got along well and sang in perfect harmony and soon Isabella was falling for Captain Al. But during the Regatta she found out that Captain Al was really Captain Already Taken and his boat was the Unavailable. After the regatta Al went home to his wife of many years and Isabella was left to search some more. It must be noted that the Nauticat beat the Unavailable in the regatta and that didnt help Isabellas chances. We all know that sailors dont loose well.
After the regatta , down in the Islands that touch the Sky, Captain Needsa came a courting. Now Captain Needsa was from Puerto Rico and had sailed alone for many years throughout the Windward and Leeward Islands. He spoke fluent Spanish, a language that Isabella loves. an he seemed to know everything about everything, I think that comes with being a Captain. He even knew that there were no manatees in Puerto Rico. So i guess my friends were actually swimming with mermaids in Salinas. So would this very knowledgeable and available skipper be the one? Alas no he wasnt. He had sailed alone for too long and was not the Captain Charming she was looking for. So Captain Needsa Bath and the good ship Neverbeen Scrubbed were soon dispatched.
So the lovely Isabella is still in the clutches of Captain Dave and Evil Edi on the Nauticat. Is she destined to remain a prisoner forever or will a dashing young captain come sailing out of 7Knots to wisk her away? Or will it be a noble sailor from Cruiserlog.com that comes to her rescue. Only time will tell. Stay tuned for the further adventures of Isabella Ratzova. I hope we have a happy ending for this story.

We all know that this is life and there are no happy endings because life goes on and the only way it ends is not happy for anybody. So there are only chapters in life and all we can hope for are a few good chapters to keep us going. And that is what is happening in the tale of Isabella Ratzova. Her tale doesnt end , it just keeps on going. There will be many more chapters. However, it has taken a happy twist. The charming Isabella has finally won over her Evil Stepsister, the notorious Evil Edi Ratzova, and they have become friends and get along well. No longer does Evil Edi treat her mean and cruel. They started sharing cooking duties on the Nauticat. They clean and do dishes together. They share makeup and advise each other what to wear and what looks good on them. They even suntan naked together on the trampoline (they don't invite Captain Davey) and share books. And discuss and share future captain charmings and how to find them. But Evil Edi draws the line at helping Isabella clean the fish, Isabella still has to do that by herself. They are not that good of friends. So they have organized a revolt on the Nauticat and now Captain Davy has to cook and clean and do all the repair work while they lie around and suntan. It was the breadfuit for dinner that sparked the revolt. You would have thought I had read Mutiny on the Bounty and know what happens when you bring breadfruit on board. But no, that breadfruit is so good to look at and the trees are so lovely, tall, slim, like a woman, a gorgeous green like the eyes of a sulty harem girl and it entices you. Before you know it you have brought one on board. It sucks you in, like gorgeous eyes and a lovely naked body. Sort of like women, good looking on the outside and we all know Captains are shallow people and only look at the shiny exterior of crew and boats. And then all hell breaks loose. And thats what happened on the Nauticat. Breadfruit. The holding tank got plugged. The sticky gooy vegetable stuck to the insides and everyone ended up constipated. And a constipated woman is worse than one with PMS. So there was a revolt on the Nauticat. And one nasty Captain cant stand up to two women with plugged bowels and win.
So Isabella and Evil Edi started looking and checking the traplines for another boat. And Isabella has found a charming and learned new skipper from the land of good chocholates and cheeses. He's tall, well educated ( if you can call being an engineer educated), brave, bold, sensitive, caring, and with a lovely boat. And he wants to go where she does. (Even if he didn't she would soon fix that).
So Isabella is off to join this new boat and its nice skipper. And she has taken Evil Edi to meet him before Evil Edi flies back to her home in the lovely Pacific Northwest where she will finally get rid of a nasty motorcycle hood that has been causing her grief for the last 4 years. And she will tend to her trap lines for next season. Meanwhile Isabella is going to skope out a future captain for her on the island of oil and reggae music. And poor Captain Davey is all by himself on the Nauticat with just canned corned beef and breadfruit to eat. Ah the life of a lonely single captain, but that is another story. So wish good luck to Isabella and her continuing search. May the lucky captain come forward and get his rewards.
Good luck and best wishes Isabella. We are all hoping that this is THE ONE. Stay tuned for an update.

Update
Unfortunately as nice a fellow as he was he is not THE ONE and so Isabella continues her search for Captain Right

Update no.2
Well finally Isabella has found the perfect skipper, at least in her mind. However all us skippers know we are far from perfect but we can fool somepeople sometimes. And where did this lucky fellow come from? Was it 7knots? cruiser log? Neither, it was find a crew. he contacted her and flew her from montreal to trinidad where they me and the rest is history, or soon will be. And the lucky man is Captain Brian. And he has a lovely boat, and Oyster 56 that he plans to sail into the Pacific Ocean right where she wants to go. So Isabella is really in love. And the world is her oyster, or should we say an Oyster is her world. The Nauticat will miss you but we are very happy for you. Enclosed are some pictures.